Conversation with Brodek last night:

Homer "I am realizing there is a distinction within me that I am making that is too artificial i.e. the distinction between wanting and needing. I don't feel like need a lover. I just want a lover. And in that I fail to see the desire and animal instinct within me. I conceal that which is real to me. In that way, I have created a problem. Again I will reiterate I fear instinct but I must overcome this fear or be braver than it. And I fear instinct because I feel it is in opposition to action taken humanely and conscientiously. But now I see that the animal need and the dissolution of want in it's calculated manner and the effusion of calculation and need would be the most meaningful platform with which to move forward." (totally not what I said)

Michael Brodek "Do not deny yourself what you are. You cannot conceal need. and Of course you will be hurt because need is so much deeper. But numbness is worse." (not exactly what he said)

I must be brave enough to be what it is that I am which is calculated artifice and natural instinct.