Choice of Choosing

Infinity abounds around me. it is indefinite and unlimited. My mother has always asked me to keep my options open. And I have done my best to abide her. My education has taught me the value of seeing with many lenses and the importance of having open eyes to the world.

But alas, there is only one life to live. Their are choices to make. Roads not to follow. Roads that are not deserving of my attention. This is not a question of right or wrong. Or best or worse. But a question of belonging and identity. What road belongs to me and how can I honor my mother's wish if there truly is only one road for me. How do I see all roads and remain confident in mine. How do honor difference while upholding the valor of being myself. How can I possibly love me if i know that love is in other places besides me. How do I acknowledge the solipsistic destiny that belongs to me and to fulfill it without betraying what I understand to be truly useful: the ability to perceive beyond myself. Every action I take has real consequences and no consequences. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The only difference is momentum. I understand that nothing is deserved. I know why light is important to matter and energy.

Perhaps my only answer is that my road is the road of perception and to perceive. How do I become less passive. How do I exist without being passive but still being open. How do I remain flexible without pushing over. Will my instincts guide me to this or merely make me nothing but a coward. Can my perception lead me to action. I will make my perception lead to action in paint and in life.

I will have no absolute declarations. I will not strive for purity. I will build and build on what is real. And real is where reality intersects with abstraction. And I will dance through this life.

Grace under pressure. constantly revised and re-intersected. but eternally committed to myself and reality.