Greed

I definitely feel more greedy or sort of materialistic since returning to hong kong. The culture as acknowledged by the locals does not differentiate peoples by how they earn their fortune. It is merely important to have a fortune. That is absurd. Or otherwise odd.

I am getting caught up in this lifesryle and consciously acknowledging it, I feel like kanye.

But I realize. I don't want to be rich. Merely I want to be rich enough to share. Because from every perspective it is impossible to be rich enough. Never satisfied. It is impossible to remove money from one's my by earning it. Or when work is done for it... it will never seem like enough.

I desire pleasure from my life. Meaning in the contrast of pleasure and pain. And deciding what is good for me and my world. Money cannot buy the feeling of pleasure. Therefore I must use money as merely an instrument to acquire the instruments that satiate my pleasure via their use. Money is merely utility. Money is also a senseless legacy. It is too generic. To everywhere. It is a set new possibilities rather than inspiration for the future to see and act on possibilities.

I want enough money to share. Auntie terri recalled a remarkable story about my grandfather taking her a stranger to him and just a friend to my mother in when auntie terri ran away. She finished the story that my grandfather would never relent to selfishness but sacrifice and share. He never did get rich again and I don't suppose he had ever heard of Job. But this quality of sacrifice. It is what I must bring to the world. I must sacrifice myself by sharing myself to the world.

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