Biological Imperative

Life would be hell if I didn't have paint. If I didn't have my imagination. What good are my hopes? Are they projections of my imagination? Senseless infuriating hopes that quash themselves when opportunity comes to the door. What ever shall i do with these priceless deathgiving pain inducing hopes? what do i hope to be? The greatest? Of course but isn't that everyone's hope that somehow they'll get it and get out. But I don't want to get out. I just want it over and over again. My hopes doom me. Without them I'd be fearless.

But more importantly I don't want a job this Summer. i want to paint from dusk till dawn. Minute to minute without sleep. Just paint draw paint sculpt paint draw. It's more than everyone and everything I love. it is also everything I hate. It is the absolute of me. This imperative and I will steer my ship in to doom for it. it is the siren that has killed many a sailor. But I. What of me? of my family? of my future family?

But hope. Don't fail me now. Hope let me live you. My projection of the universe in my head shall me my projection out to the universe and I shall see glorious projections back. Life with live with me. For as long as life must be.