Ok, My friend Francis Ko who is family friend and an year younger than me has just graduated from high school and mostly likely will attend the Uillinois. Good fer Him....
I have known the boy since he was 2 years old. maybe less. Any hoot. He is an awkward kid. I have never been around him when he felt like or looked like he was in his happy place. Or in a good social situation. In fact He out awkwards me by miles. He is a typical ABC. He is smart or book smart. Or seems that way. plays a classical instrument. Lives in Naperville. And has a unthreatening unassuming boring life.
My mom and his mom sort of compete and hold competing views of what is best for children despite being friends possibly only in name only. Alright well.
I have always had mixed feelings about his existence. I think he reminds me a lab rat. Not labbies. But actually geniunely a caged rat. The kind of person simulated by stalin's opiates of the people. Someone who would be suckered in to communist propaganda. To give up the humanities in for the sake of an easy life. So this isn;t an issue of privacy
But my father and I and My Mom have been theorizing independently why the fuck would you do this. If you have a good college in your sights. Well a college in name that is good.
We all sort of saw this coming in the sense that we all knew he was gonna break. He was all balled up with his suburban whatever that green day sings about. He had to explode. Plus his past times were BB guns... assault automatic ones. and Call of Duty. But his wasn't some mark Zhuang ass shit were you know mark is like Guns cool but is in it because he just likes the competive edginess. I mean Francis is so sort of the kind of guy who If he was squeezed harder would have gone school shooting on some people. Well maybe that how i felt. But yeah He was a nerd geek who likes military shit. But yeah fucked up. I mean Mark is so chill. Francis is like trying to pretend to be chill but its sort of off his rocker and I don't think we get the off the cuff individual. i am not sure he gets who he should be. So much time pretending adn being surrounded by catty Suburbia. This is like running away to join the circus for him.
In a little way I might be blogging this hard because I see a little of my rebellion to be an artist in this. I mean I will be honest I took adive. i most certainly my junior year just wanted to be dick and be an artist because i thougth i didn't have anyhting upstairs in my brain. So you know draw and get a way without working.... Wow I was wrong. I learned after my leap tht I really love it. But also its more work and labor than any Science or Humanities was for me. But it was a labor i could throw myself @. Regardless I see the same sort of rebellion and were do I go now. James dean rebel without a caueseness.
His mom thinks he need male bonding.
I think well he is rebel without a cause and never exposed to the right material or read in to it. He needs some serious Holden Caufield... Franny and Zoe... or catch 22 to set him up to understand himself better. i can't tell him his decision is wrong but I don't think its thought out. BUt I have hard time being critical because it feels like my decision to be an artist...
I mean I think he might be on to somethign for himself but I also see that i could be very misguided especially when he has the opportunity to go to college and learn about himself.
I want to replace my carpet in my house.
No comments:
Post a Comment