Breaking The Fast

So at breakfast today in Chinatown I decided I want to live independently and happily forever.

I don't recall but have I mentioned that I have been having premonitions that I will be a single parent of two girls? Well I have. Either that or I really like the sound of not having a wife and two people born of my blood who unconditionally love me. Damn this sounds weird as hell. It's not that I don't want to be married or find someone to love forever and ever... its just how can I believe that so one would want to be with me forever and ever? I mean I think I do have knack of driving people away if sex is in the mix.

But this thought was more prompted by watching my grandparents who i deeply respect but are some of pickiest people... well my grandmother is especially picky. I mean they do a fine job of living independently and being employed... in fact is hard to beat their lifestyle at their age. But in sense I want to one up this by not being picky or not having to be picky. I don't really want to have habitual restaurants etc.

So today is june 4th sort of like twenty years since T-square. I have been to T-square. I feel like all the constant communism bashing on NPR is odd. They especially like the emphasize the point that chinese people in china hesitate when talking about democracy or rights or freedom. And these westernized Chinese people are all up in their ivory tower insistenting that Democracy is the only way. Now I don't remotely agree with PRC policy but I do see this sort of similarity with Fyodor's Grand Inquisitor chapter. Because The Chinese people have bargained for modernism, prosperity, and longevity in exchange for freedom. Chinese people have in many ways sold out for happiness and a granite kitchen. But the problem is that NPR insists that Chinese people want freedom or have been doped in this situation. I think there enough intellectuals in China to realize their problem. And I think the lack of current internal unrest shows that for now the bargain or selling out is ok for them. Its just very patronizing for NPR to insist that people don't understand that they could have rights. I think... well i was in china last year ... so i think i daresay i have some perspective.. that chinese people have agreed to the communist parties terms. I don't like it. But I am not going to level everything against PRC I am going to accuse the Chinese people for being too weak or unwilling to take control of their future. I mean this is just like dostoevsky in the sense that he insists that catholics have bargained away freedom for happiness because freedom is too much of a burden. But in truth I hate that there is poverty in america but honestly it is part of the bargain we made for freedom. And I can love freedom because I have this uppermiddleclass4yearcollegeprepschoolbackground but I am sure the poor family in detroit might really like the idea of rice for everyone and a steel factory in your backyard to work at and no unemployment. I think I have run from my point. NPR stop blaming the PRC for all of China's problems.... If China really wanted freedom they would undermine the entire system and throw it in to anarchy like some sub-sahran african state. I don't like that my bretheran suffer injustice but this is certainly their decision.